The Office of the Mother-In-Law is one of the most powerful offices on earth. This bold assertion may come as a surprise to many, because we might not have heard it said this way but it is the truth all the same, one that has been told a thousand times, and experienced a million more.
For those of us who are yet to walk the long winding corridors of marriage, let me help you understand this better. Your would-be mother-in-law is that visa officer who is staring long and hard at your application, and you would have to pray that she does not hate your big nose. VISA DENIED is not a joke, it can challenge even the prophetic ministry of your pastor.
Your mother-in-law is the real distance between you and that dream trip of yours, and should you ever find favour before her, believe me, her husband – that retired professor of nuclear physics whom no one can recall when last he wore a smile, would be at the door to welcome you with a wide grin. Honestly, I do not know how they do it, but they make it happen.
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There is this joke about a fruit seller who was on pilgrimage. It is said that during boarding he went and sat in the business class with his economy ticket, and all entreaties by the cabin crew to make him relocate fell on deaf ears.
After considerable time had been wasted, another pilgrim stepped forward and offered to speak to him alone. He bent over and whispered in his ear, and the next thing the recalcitrant one was seen running down the aisle of the economy cabin looking for his seat. No one knew what he told him, but the problem was fixed. This is the kind of power that mothers-in-law wield.
When my wife and I were dating, it was her mom who would convince her that I would return her call by 9:30 am, if she ever got worried that I didn’t pick up her 9 am call. And if I didn’t call back by 9:30 am, she would tell her that maybe I slept late after staying up to write at night. She would then reschedule and ask her to expect my call before 12 noon.
My mother-in-law was my pro bono advocate, any time, any day. Her daughter once said that no one can ever win a case against Nseabasi before her mother. In her eyes, I was without blame. She so liked me and called me by a fond name. Mothers-in-Law can be that sweet, but you will have to inspire that with good behaviour and give them good reason to trust your intentions.
This experience was why I was able to relate easily with the beautiful tribute written by Nigeria’s Minister of Petroleum Resources (Gas), Rt. Hon. (Obongemem) Ekperikpe Ekpo, in honour of his departed mother-in-law, while I was sorting materials and reading contents meant for the funeral program of the Late Mrs. Magdalene Ubom Udoakpan.
“Mma, it’s incredibly painful for me that you left us at a time when your fervent prayers were being answered,” is the opening line of his tribute, My Pillar of Strength.
“You’d often call me Dede, a name reserved for men of dignity, and your belief in me gave me the strength to keep going,” he continued.
Around the Obongemem, I am more of a critic than his fan. Let me put it this way, if he were the government, then I am the labour union, but it is becoming likely by the day that I will be learning a thing or two from him while this lasts.
Something in me gave way, when he said, “When others saw a small private school teacher, you saw a man of honour with immense potential.”
He actually acknowledged the days of little beginnings and her critical role, what many in his circle would shy away from. He stooped low in a frank and honest outpouring of love and gratitude for his mother-in-law to stand tall.
Ekperikpe Ekpo, you’re indeed a very humble man. You’re the proverbial okra tree that did not grow taller than its owner. Ekperikpe ifreke mfon. And this gives hope.
Honestly, Mma Ubom did not make a mistake in accepting you. She saw a gentleman with a heart for the things of God. And it stayed that way. You’re indeed a lesson for every would-be mother-in-law and prospective suitor, that we can start small and finish big.
You brought the entire North to the South in honour of your mother-in-law, caused Muslims and Christians to sit together in worship under the same roof in their last respect to the one you called mother. Sir, on November 14, 2025, you paid your debts in full.
Rt. Hon. Ekperikpe ‘Ifreke-Mfon’ Ekpo, you are a worthy son-in-law.
Baba, chop knuckle!
